I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
