Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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