just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
