just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
