Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
