dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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