the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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