my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you would pick up someone in the library
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
