I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
