So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
