Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Randomize
