I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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