So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
