He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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