so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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