dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Enjoy the penises
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
