i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize