is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
