I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
