wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
