just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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