Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
