She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
