i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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