In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
