"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
