Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
