i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
