ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
