i don't like sucking hair
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
