We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
