He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize