ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
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