We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
