Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
