My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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