I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
is it fun? or sober?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
