i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize