And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
