can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize