I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
