Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
