Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Randomize
