True but thats because hes a fetus.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
