Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
