So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
