kristin has been a bad kristin
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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