Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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