she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Randomize