how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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