he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
