where does the pee come out of this thing
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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