Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
