hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
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