i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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