U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
