it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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