love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
