I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize