And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
