Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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