how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Randomize
