Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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