someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
