i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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