meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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