you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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