He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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