I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
