it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
