I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
