mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize
