I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Randomize
