What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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