Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize