last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
